First Two Days. . .

There is no place like home! There is no place like home! That is an understatement.

We arrived at DFW airport about 10:30 a.m. Saturday morning. After about an hour of immigration and customs we were free. GranBob, David and Laura were there to meet us and when I saw their faces I felt like an exhausted racer that just crossed the finish line and all I wanted to do was fall down.

Dallas never looked better. I enjoyed every site on the way home from the airport. The hardest part of coming home was the absence of my dear Breaker, but every time I open the door I miss him so I guess that will just be the way it is.

Jordan did great from the first ride in a carseat to being whisked through the house by Jillian to see every room with no time to stop and take it in. The dogs flipped Jordan out totally and completely. Mom and Dad kind of flipped out at that, but they knew I would do it my way. I think she recognized that it was her room from the pictures I had shown her, but honestly it was alot to take in at the whirlwind pace it was presented to her. About 5:00 p.m. both girls were glassy eyed and I made a fatal error in judgement. I decided to let them go to sleep. My thinking was that 12 hours would put us to 5:00 a.m. and with any luck at all I could get an extra 2 which would be the time I would need to get them up to get ready for church. Any one that knows me knows that any time after 9:00 p.m. I turn into the wicked stepmother. Well at 10:00 I am awakend to the drama queen (Jillian) freaking out that her sister has gone missing. Because it was after 9:00 I was not concerned but needed to quiet the drama queen so we went to look for her. We found her in the recliner with Gran Bob. After hustling them back to bed I decided that there is nothing that makes you sleep better than a full belly. I was off to the kitchen and made 2 turkey sandwiches, brownie, and two glasses of strawberry milk. They ate and were tucked back in with a stern look and motion that you better stay in your bed. Not an hour later I again was awakened to the Mamma chorus. I went and threatened them with hand motions and mean looks and again went back to bed. About an hour later they were standing at my bedside. I quickly decided that my body would not get out of the bed again so I pulled them up in my bed and again gave them the look. After that about every fifteen minutes one or the other had to be corrected. A few hours later Jillian was tapping on me telling me a feather was on her lip. Not a great night.

I was bound and determined that Sunday we would get up and go to church and praise and worship God for what He has done for us. Getting up took a few prayers in itself but we did it. I was so proud to hear from Jillian's Sunday school teacher Sunday night that she did give God praise. Her Sunday school teacher told me that she told Jillian that they had been praying for us and she said that Jillian told her that God answered our prayers with her sister and an extra bonus of tvs on the plane. Jordan went to her own Sunday school class and my friend from Sunday school had her the first hour. She reported that Jordan was bossing all of the boys and hugging all of the parents that came in the room. When we picked her up she was still going strong. Jillian grabbed her and hugged her and said that she missed her so much. We went back in the afternoon for their choir and my Bible study. I have no idea what she sang in choir but she said she had fun. On the way home from church we had to scream and yell to keep Jordan awake. I was determined that I was going to sleep that night.

When my niece and nephew were little my brother use to wrestle with them and give them zerbits (lips on skin and blow). I always thought that it looked like so much fun so when I got Jillian we started the tradition at bedtime. I decided it was time to introduce Jordan to the tradition. She took to it right away. She was screaming and jumping and begging for zerbits. Our rule is that you have to call your zerbit when you do it. Jillian and I were laughing so hard from her pronounciation of zerbit that we could not stop laughing. Life does not get any better than this!

Today we took Jillian to school and for the first time just the two of us were together. We had a great time doing a little bit of working, running errands, and just hanging out. She is doing so much better with the dogs. They now run freely through the house and she just watches them. She is petting them all of the time and saying awww. She was happy to go and pick her sister up from school and play with her until bedtime. Today I got the sense that she was settling in.

Home Sweet Home

We are home. We arrived this morning about 10:30. When we touched down in Dallas, Jordan officially became a United States citizen. Wow, what an adventure!

Love,

Julie

Well today we spent the day once again passing the hours with walks and games and spending time with our friends. It was easier today as we know we are pulling out tomorrow. We went and said goodbye to our beach, our pigeons, our sea gulls, and the many cats we feed every day. We hope that some one will pick up where we left off.

It has been a great trip but so very long. We can't wait to get home and get back to living. We are also looking forward to introducing Jordan to our home, family, and friends.

Again, thank you again for all of your prayers and support through this journey. We will see you soon!

Love,

Julie

Closer and closer

The closer we get to our final journey home the closer we are all becoming to Jordan. The most noteable change is Jillian and Jordan. They have always gotten along and had fun together, but I guess looking back that Jillian was very enamored with Jordan and they had fun, but now Jordan is also enamored with Jillian. They have so much fun together and before Jordan was not crazy about Jillian always getting in her personal space whereas now she welcomes her to invade her space. Jillian wants to be next to her when eating (she smashes their chairs up against each other) Jordan does not even want you to touch her chair or plate. Tonight I was watching as Jillian did the chair smash and Jordan actually leaned down to help her with a smile. So cute!!!

Jordan is overcoming her fears. As we walked today from the beach up the stairs by the train to our bridge and then to our store a train was coming in. Jordan had a hold of my hand and squeezed tightly as she said train. We were so close we could have boarded it. After it pulled away she said chuga chuga choo choo and walked on. The biggest hurdle was jumped when we arrived back at the hotel this afternoon after our walk. We went to the playground because several other kids were there including Jillian's friends. As we neared I saw a dog running right in the middle of all the kids. I told Jordan so she could be prepared. She just ran straight for the playground and by the time I got there she and another little girl were throwing the ball to the dog. A couple more minutes later and she was taking the ball out of the dog's mouth to throw it to him. I guess she is ready for Faith and Lucy now. Perfect timing!

Our courier came back to day from Moscow with our paperwork. We are officially ready to come home now. I was not expecting the relief that I felt. Its over, yes I know I still have to get back home, but the ordeal is over. I don't have to think about it anymore. I know my friends will be grateful that I won't have to think about it or talk about it anymore. Life goes on. . . No more waiting or wondering if I will survive it. On with life . . .

Last Tuesday in Vladivostok

Today has been a great day. The first sign of greatness was the sunshine coming in our window. The second thing was to be awakened by an English speaking little one. The first ten minutes this morning it was as if the light bulb had turned on in Jordan's head. She told me everything she knew in English. It was so fun. We had school this morning followed by lunch and our outside time. We went to the playground and to the beach and to the store and back to the hotel playground. It has been a beautiful day. The girls had a new kind of ice cream at the store and liked it. We are back in now for the evening and the girls are watching a movie. Our courier should be back tomorrow from Moscow and we will just enjoy our time together until it is time to leave.

Love to all,

Julie

Progress

Today was another cold day but no precipitation so we were happy. We did get to go for our walk but it was a very cold one. Needless to say we had our own private beach today. We did not stay long because the winds were blustering at about 50 mph. Nonny and I explained to the girls they had to be tough if they were going to beach comb with us.

Jordan is really starting to get better on her English. She not only is speaking better she understands a little bit more of what we say. She is pronouncing the alphabet better which makes the alphabet song a little bit easier to understand. The words she knows for sure are:

up
apple
balloons
ball
ice cream
hello
Gran Bob
hi
good bye

After writing them that does not seem that great, but she is trying very hard and making progress. Yesterday the housekeepers gave her a new blanket on her bed and it had balloons on it. I thought she was going to do a double back flip. She is so proud of that blanket. This morning after she got up (she is always the first one up) and then came to get in bed with us she got back up to get her blanket and then did a dance about the balloons again. She has gone to pet it a couple times today. The other thing that she does that really gets to me is her style of crying. It is a heart wrencher, and I really don't think I am that gullable at least to tears. She has the sadest look come over her face first and then these huge crocodille tears come out of her eyes. By this time I am toast. Today on our walk, remember it was freezing, we went by the store. After telling the girls it was too cold for ice cream I went in the store to buy it. They were out of both kinds of the girls favorites. I went back outside to break the bad news. Jillian and Jordan were both jumping and squealing until I told them they were out and started to walk back to the hotel. I turned back to look at Jordan and here they came. It was so sad. Luckily I had bought their favorites at the big store in case it rained one day or something. After explaining ice cream at the hotel she was happy again and ready to go.

Love to all,

Julie

Reflection. . .

This morning I was again thinking how blessed I am. I was considering all of the prayers that are being lifted up on our behalf and the two and a half years of my own prayers. As I mentioned before I prayed for protection for Jordan since the day I knew about her, and I prayed for a love that Jillian and I would have for her, we prayed for a happy life for her when we thought she would live her life a world away, and I prayed that Jillian would enjoy this time, that she would not be afraid or have bad memories, but could know in her mind a little bit more about where she came from that it might mean something to her in the future if she needed the information.

I could so clearly see God in every moment of time I had here when I adopted Jillian. We had an immediate bond and love for each other, she was mine and I was hers no doubt about it. I had the audacity to think that maybe God would not do it again. Sometimes I am amazed how God still puts up with me. Never before have I admitted out loud to anyone (I guess the depths of the questions in my mind) that maybe it would not be the same with Jordan. How could anyone be like Jillian is to me? How would it be different sharing Jillian with Jordan and so on and so forth. Would she be able to permeate our little wall of 2? So many times since the first trip I am so grateful that I had to endure the pain of this summer and how I have told God how he knows me so well and knew that I needed the confirmation that Jordan was mine by His will, and I am so grateful that I finally let my will go. I hate how stubborn and hard headed I am and I hope to always remember that its His way not mine that I want.

So back to reflection. I still can't believe (working on my unbelief) how much Jillian truly, truly, loves having a sister. I asked for the love and it is definitely there. That is not to stay that she is the sweetest most loving sister in the world. She has mean times, and whiny times, and irritated times, but even in her worst moments she loves her sister. She always ask for everything for both of them, and even offered to share her last brownie with her. Jordan is so different than what I expected. She is changing everyday. She was so easy and sweet to start with but is just fitting perfectly with the two of us more and more every day. The three of us fit and feel so natural. Thank you God! Jordan is relaxing and feeling more confident and to think she has not even made it home yet. Again for those of you that are worried that I have let my guard down, I have not. I am simply marveling at all of my answered prayers! I love being the mother of two, and I hate to say it out loud, but you know I will, it is a piece of cake going from 1 to 2 as compared to 0-1.

When Robert and Ali (my niece and nephew) were little we would watch their every move and laugh constantly at how Ali would copy everything Robert would do. We would always say out loud, see see. Well here we go again. Jillian thinks it is cool and sometimes uses it for good and sometimes for bad. We are working on that. Yesterday the hands on the hips hit. I just about fell on the ground in hysterics as it always cracks me up when Miss Priss (Jillian) puts her hands on her hips but when I looked on the playground and Jillian was at one end with her friends and Jordan was at the other end and both had their hands on their hips I just smiled. Life is good!

Four more days of vacation! Again could I please remind you how grateful we all are of your prayers and sweet thoughts!

Love to all,

Julie

P.S. T.C. (my non computer friend) I love you and miss you! Now if someone would tell her for me.

Top 10 things we miss about home. . .

10. Mexican food
9. Promised Land Strawberry Milk (Jillian)
8. Our own beds
7. School
6. Our pool, our backyard
5. Mexican food
4. Merlin, T.C., Ditto, Uggy Bug, Unbelievable, & Blue Fishy
3. smiles and gentlemen
2. Faith and Lucy
1. Friends and Family

A day on the town

We woke this morning and headed out for town. It was the birthday of the region so there was a big fair on the square downtown. It was actually called a festival but it was a rude version of our fair. We went and checked it out and watched a little Russian dance and singing. It was interesting. The girls got baloons. Jillian picked out a dolphin and Jordan picked out out a pink bunny. You would have thought I just gave Jordan and Jillian for that matter the moon. We went to a department store (what they call a department store) we would call it a flea market. Anyhow we had fun. We also purchased another balloon for each girl. My interpreter asked me why two balloons as though it was so extravagant, and I said why not. Nonny and I love to look around and they had some interesting things. We went to the Russian china store after that (my favorite) and ofcourse I purchased something to try to get home in my suitcase unbroken. I could not resist. Then we went back to the grocery store for our final visit for provisions for the next several days, and then back to the hotel.

Today is the day that the hotel is inundated by the rich Russians in the area. Our hotel is located in the rich section of Vladivostok where all of the high officials live. Saturdays and Sundays they come to the hotel for weddings, dinner, and just to walk round and round the grounds. It is a little obnoxious as they let their kids run wild. I really don't like wild kids. When we got back the kids had a quick lunch and were ready to go outside and play. Outside we went with soccer ball in hand ready to meet our friends. The playground was bustling but all with Russian kids. They were older and in about 2 minutes had climbed a pine tree, stood up on the see saw, and stood up in the swings. and were blocking mine from the slide. The mother bear in me came out and I dealt with the bad boy on the slide and then stood by to watch. There were about four Russian mothers standing in their spike heels and fur coats paying no attention at all accept to look at me and whisper every little bit. After my little sponges tried all of the bad tree climbing, slide skiing, stand up kamakazi swinging and I got that straightened out they settled in for a little fun. Jillian decided she was going to make some new friends and headed off for the Russian girls. Some were nice and some were not. She did not care she insisted that they play with her and eventually they did. It was fun to watch her work. Jordan was oblivious to it all and just glad to be outside.

Love,

Julie

Vacation begins . . .

This morning I woke up. I am a morning person and that is when my brain kicks in. When my eyes open I put my armour on and then I start to pray and think and reflect. I have learned so much in my prayer class and so I start with the praise, I have so much to be thankful for so that takes a little while, then the reflection begins and that goes hand in hand with conviciton and confession and what I can do differently today that would honor God. This morning in this time I thought about how incredibly God has blessed me with these two little girls. I thought of my mistakes yesterday and how I wanted to be better today. I thought about being here and how I asked God to waive the 10 day wait, and how my agency and other people told me that no one was getting their 10 wait waived, but I knew if God wanted it done, it would be done. Well this morning I was thinking how he did not want it done. He has a purpose for me to be stuck here, and quite honestly it has been a great time to get to know both of my children better, time to spend with my mother, and time to adjust to our changed life. So this morning I decided that this week would be special even more than the others have been. I am going to try to enjoy every single second this week with my girls. So this week we are on vacation in the spectacular city of Vladivostok at the supreme resort, the Vladivostok Inn. Wish you were here!

We started our first day of vacation by sleeping in until 8:15. Then we were a little lazy and it took us a while to get around. We had breakfast and a long bath and out the door to our playground and walk at a little after a 11:00. It was a little colder here today but it did not slow us down. We did our beach combing and ice cream stop at the store and walked home marveling at the many colors of the changing leaves. When we got back to our room we had quiet time. That is a delicious time when we all get a book or something we want to have and go to our own corner. After quiet time we had a little squeal and wrestle with mom time. We got a little loud so I thought we should take it outside. Back to the playground. On the way we stopped and had an impromptu soccer game. Nonny and Jillian against Jordan and myself. It was a very close game but Nonny and Jillian beat us by one point. This was Jordan's first taste of soccer and I believe she will be a key player when she figures out which way her team's goal is and when air planes go over you can not stop and ponder where they might be going. Really though her kick packs a punch. When Nonny and I were close to heart attacks and exhaustion and we pointed out the swing sets and begged off of the game.

While the kids were swinging several people walked up. You have to wait around here until people speak to see what nationality they are. A lady with a little child and two twin boys came running on to the playground. The twins spoke English and immediately Jillian was out of her swing to go play with her new friends, like it or not. They did, they were very cute and only two months younger than her and they hit it off immediately. Their mother walked up and introduced herself and looked at Jordan on the slide and said I know her. She said my husband kept asking about her when we were visiting my daughter this summer. About that time he walked up and she asked him if he recognized her. He said that is that little girl that had the back pack on and talked to us this summer at the baby home. Anyway they were so excited to see that Jordan had a home. We now have a standing playdate every day with Ethan and Daniel, the twins. Everyone is happy!

Tomorrow we are going shopping in the city. I hope I can control Nonny since this will be her first time off of the place in two weeks. She might be hanging out of the sun roof screaming in case something comes across the ap wire.

Love to all,

Julie

Last step complete. . .

We visited the Embassy today to complete the final step of paperwork. The courier will leave tomorrow for Moscow and return next week. The American embassy is downtown. At the front door you are stopped by the Russian police who take your passports into a little guard hut and do something for a few minutes. Then you walk in and Igor is sitting on one side of desk through a security scanner (he looked like he was right out of a James Bond movie). He wanted identification other than my passport. I thought a passport trumped all other forms of identification, but what do I know. I handed him my license and he said I keep. I was not going to argue with Igor. There was another little guard that wanted my purse and after that Jordan and I walked through the security scanner and then I was asked to walk back through. Whatever, this was my embassy. Let me in! Finally we were told to go to the second floor. We went up there and waited for the conselor to interview us. He was nice and it was nice to see someone that was American and spoke english, and very quickly. I must be dull from listening to Russian because my brain was wow you better listen. He was nice and much faster than last time. Then it was back to Igor where I reclaimed my license and back out the door. It was a great feeling to leave there and know that all of the paper chase was complete at least until we get home.

Earlier today we went on our walk. Straight to the beach as it was a beautiful day. A little bit overcast but perfectly still and warm. Since the snow the leaves are turning quickly every color of red, orange, purple. It is very pretty and Nonny loves it. I am a spring person myself. The beach was desolate so the Prigmores moved in. We got the prime bench that we have never been able to claim before. I laid down on it and listened to the waves. Just as I was really getting in to it Jillian insisted that I get up and come see some artwork she had created in the sand. Oh, well it was nice for a minute. It was a perfect beach combing day. First Nonny and Jordan went shell searching and then we all got in to it. There are no great shells on our beach but we had alot of fun searching. We have told the girls all week don't get your shoes wet and we looked up today and they were both standing in the water. I thought of the days we lived in Corpus when I was little and how frustrating it was not to be able to get your feet wet and just smiled. Who really cares!

We are scheduled to go to town again Saturday for one more outing. I could not face another weekend staying at the hotel all weekend. One more outing should get us through until it is time to LEAVE next Friday. ONE MORE WEEK!!! We can't wait.

God bless!

Julie

More of the same. . .

Well we have Wednesday marked off and only have one more to go. That sounds good. Today we went to the embassy doctor, that was a joke and $120.00. We also picked up the Russian passport and they had spelled Jordan's name wrong. When I asked my interpreter she said, oh they. spelled it the Russian way. I was walking to the van and she said it is just her Russian passport no one is going to look at that anyway. I stopped and said that is what I have to have to get out of the country, right? She smiled and said don't worry it is fine I promise. Faith, that is what you have to have in this journey.

Tomorrow is the last of the running around. After that we are just waiting. If we had chosen to go through Moscow we would be leaving Friday. That is a tempting thought, but we will just wait here.

Jordan did great today going to the doctor. She is pretty laid back and it did not phase her. We watched about 4 trains this evening when we went for our walk from just beside the railroad track. She did great. There were a couple of frowns but other than that she waved to them and said bye bye and there were no tears. Every day she is overcoming some fears.

Julie

The birth certificate. . .

shows me as the mother of Jordan Christine Prigmore.

The birth certificate . . .

now shows me as mother. As of today she is legally mine . . . all mine. I spent the first part of the day running around Vladivostok chasing paperwork. First was to pick up the court documents officially making me mom to Jordan Christine Prigmore. Then we went to the vital records department to get the new birth certificate with my name on it as mother. Then we went to the passport bureau to get the Russian passport ordered, and then we went back to another vital records department to do something else official and then we were done until tomorrow. That was my first day away from the hotel since Saturday and I have to say it felt good. Nonny watched the girls and I was free. I did not know how much fun it could be to chase documents. Poor Nonny she will hit Dallas Texas and we may never see her again.

Today was a splendid day. The sun was shining and the weather was warm and it was a perfect day for a long walk. When I got back to the hotel the girls were ready. Our neighbors that got to get their kids yesterday came by to meet us and we were off to the playground. After a little bit of sliding and swinging we were off on our walk. We followed our regular path and all along the way we found lady bugs. By the time we got to the beach we were all covered in lady bugs. It freaked Jordan out at first to give a lady bug a ride on her face, but we quickly taught her to kiss them and that turned everything around for her. As we set on the beach the lady bugs looked like they were flying in from the ocean. It was soooo cool. The girls threw rocks and rescued a few lady bugs out of the ocean, and fed the sea gulls and then it was off to the store for ice cream. It was a fine day for our walk.

Jordan is doing well on her speaking English. Every day she sounds a little clearer in her alphabet and today she told me to stop when she wanted out of the swing. I was so excited I almost did a cheer for her. She told GranBob that she loved him and he could understand her today. So we are definitely making progress. I was expecting a little quicker take on it but I have to admit she is getting there. I think it will help when she is around nothing but English speaking people.

After my first trip I was expecting a spitfire like her sister (actually I thought she had her sister beat). I am happy to report she does not have the spitfire atitude. I love that atitude but I have always felt that one is more than plenty. She is confident, full of life, vim and vigor but a little more of a comedian.

A little over a week to go. Please keep praying for us. We can't wait to get home.

Love,

Julie

The high princess is ill . . .

Jillian, the high princess has been ill today. The first thing she wanted to do was inform her teacher, Mrs. Nadalini that on the second day of the third week she is very ill. Don't ask me how her brain works. So another dull day for us. Jordan is now used to having Jillian to play with and vice versa so both girls were out of sinc and so were Nonny and I as we could not go on our daily walk. Jordan and Nonny went out for a while to the playground but I think they missed us. Jillian is keeping me jumping. Anytime I might think about doing something for myself she needs something, an ice cube, a fresh drink, a back rub, a blanket, a movie changed, you name it. It is quite funny, but I remember one thing about being ill as a kid and still now. I always just want my momma. So for now I am at her beck and call.

Tomorrow both girls will stay with Nonny as I run around town chasing paperwork. I have to be ready by 8:00. Hopefully tomorrow we will all be back to normal and there will be something interesting to report.

Love to all,

Julie

A day in our life.....

We wake up anywhere from 7:00 to 8:00 a.m.. The first one awake wakes the entire gang except for maybe Jillian who snuggles down for an extra little nap. Jordan is the early bird. She immediately wants to play with something. The next hours involve breakfast, bath time (this is a particularly long bath) as this is the only time there is a moment of peace. There is actually not too much peace in the bathroom as you hear the water splash out, and the girls giggling and belly laughing, the toys clanging, water flute going, and a suction ball being thrown from one side to the other. It is pure bedlam but one of the most wonderfull times of the day. Then we proceed to hair drying and dressing all the while getting ourselves ready. During the same time the maid is knocking on the door to see if we are out of the room.

Next step is our journey for the day. We usually go to the playground first but the last couple of days we have been going on our daily walk first. Not to far away, down the lane and then down a private street, through a parking lot and across two huge railroad tracks (very busy railroad tracks)we go usually with two little girls hopping all the way on their bouncy balls. After we cross the railroad tracks we walk down a path by delapidated building to the entrance of the beach. I think it must be a public park because it is gated and has a couple of restaurants (if you could call them that)(I will post a picture)inside. Today we discovered an old amusement park at the other end rotting away. Then we take our walk down the beach stopping to feed the sea gulls and pigeons and any thing else we can find to feed. There was a washed up jelly fish the other day in the shallow part of the ocean and Nonny got a branch and pulled it out only to discover a bunch of little crabs living inside. The crabs running every which way just about put Jordan in to hysterics for a minute, but she recovered. After the tour of the beach we stop and space the girls out far enough from anyone to get hit by a misguided rock and let them throw rocks to their hearts content. Nonny and I usually sit on the bouncy balls and watch them throw rocks and listen to the water hit the beach. After the beach constittutional we make our way back to the railroad tracks and up the stairs.

To the store we go up the railroad track steps ( they have big holes in them and are very uneven)and along side the tracks and then up 47 stairs to the top to the bridge. Then we walk across a big bridge and end in a parking lot that leads to some more restaurants and our favorite little store. This is the highlight of Jordan's day as she knows that ice cream bars and cones are waiting in the store. She gets very excited and starts saying ice c---ream and then licks a pretend cone to make sure you understand. It is funny. This is where I met the cutest little dog that is always hungry but very wary and scared. Usually mom or myself sits outside with one child and the other takes one child in. This is a very tiny store.

Jordan is getting better about the dog situation. Today one ran on the beach pretty close and she just watched it, and my little dog came up to me to get a pet and she was sitting on one knee and did not even shy away. I told her what a nice dog it was and she tended to agree. I am relieved she will at least entertain the thought that they are ok.

After we get out of the store we distribute the ice cream bars. Jillian's favorite is a Maxibon and Jordan loves the cones with strawberry syrup inside, kind of like a sundae on a cone. After this we take our walk back home. The entire jaunt takes us 2 to 3 hours. Usually the girls are ready for quiet time when we get back. Actually usually we all are.

Quiet time is either a time when we work with one or both on something but sometimes this means a movie or book reading for adults, and sometimes a little nap. It all depends on what mood strikes us.

After quiet time we usually go back outside to the playground or a short walk, and then back to the room for more fun and games. Then it is finally time to think about dinner.

We try to cook in the room. Our room is really two hotel rooms with 1/2 of the center wall removed, a full kitchen and one bed in each room and a couch and one tv. The tv receives fox news and star movies (sometimes). We try to cook as the restaurant is very expensive and it is just easier with kids. At least for snacks and most meals.

Night is exciting when we get to 7:00. We know it is down hill from there and another day marked off our list. (YEA). Sometimes there is a secound bath time and sometimes a movie or some kind of game. Again it depends on the mood. Then it is night night time. On a good night we stay up until about 9:00 or 10:00. Last night when we got into bed fireworks started going off right outside of our window. Jillian was thrilled and could not believe that she had her very own fireworks show. This morning she was marveling that she had never seen fireworks in the snow. Made her day!

That has been our typical day since we got Jordan a little over a week ago. This week the pace picks up at least for Jordan and me as we have alot of running around town to get all of the documents filed, embassy visited, embassy doctor visited, and so forth and so on. They tell me they don't take blood anymore so that is a relief for Jordan. At the end of the week our courier leaves for Moscow and then they will return the following week. The following week we leave for home. YEA! HOME SWEET HOME!

We have met some friends, the Oestmans, that are from Wyoming and they get their girls tomorrow, a four and five year old. They had to visit their girls for the ten day wait and it has been very hard for them, but tomorrow is their day and we are excited for them. It will be nice to also have new playmates.

Again please let me say how much your love, support, friendships, and most of all prayers mean to us. We are forever grateful!

I am so very blessed to have two beautiful girls, the best parents in the world (I don't believe I would do this for my daughters), and my sweet friends and family.

Thank you all!

Julie

Its raining.....its snowing....

It rained for one full day so that we could not go out. We pulled out all our tricks as far as arts and crafts, and games, and play dough, and puzzles, and school. I will have to admit Nonny had most of the tricks. Last night it started snowing and it is still snowing. We did take the girls out today in a lull of the snow to preserve everyones sanity. I think it preserved it. That might be questionable at this very moment as the two girls are running, screaming, and giggling in and out of the fort Nonny made them with her bedspread and the kitchen table. We are desperate here! We are praying for sunshine tomorrow.

Nonny, Jillian, and I are homesick and Jordan just wants to be with us. Its a new day tomorrow. Please pray for sunshine and time to quickly pass.

Love,

Julie

Only two more weeks from tomorrow..........

That sounds like a very long time. It is Thursday here and we have had a very laid back day. Actually I guess most days are laid back. It looks like winter outside this afternoon and we are trying to figure out if it is too cold for a walk today. We went outside this morning (it was a must) and played on the playground and then Nonny had school (I watched a movie) hee hee. I feel like that was the treat of the century. A two hour escape! We ate lunch at the restaurant today sitting outside on the patio. I believe that is when the cold front moved through. The beginning of the lunch was nice and by the end we were all shivering.

All is going well. Jordan is learning more and more everyday. Nonny, Jillian and I are all tired of singing the alphabet song (with feeling) and six little ducks, but we are hanging in there. Yesterday we had spa day (thanks to the Souceks) for the lovely nail polish and lip gloss. Thanks to all of our friends that gave us such fun stuff to do while here. Taylor and Tyler gave us activity books, map colors, and note pads. Souceks gave us pjs, and nail polish (Nonny and I are thinking of a new glitter color for ourselves) and lip gloss. The Dales gave us great felt activities and books, and the Stallings gave us two beautiful sister outfits. We are so blessed to have such wonderful friends.

Well my indians are circling so I think we must brave the cold to save our sanity. Must run. We love you all and are so grateful for your thoughts and prayers.

Love,

The wild gang!

Just another day in paradise. . .

Ok, maybe not paradise, but when I see my girls running around giggling and playing, running to see who can smother me with the most kisses, for a moment I forget where I am and just embrace the moment. We did have a great day. We went into town today to the aquarium. We have no idea how blessed we are. You just have no idea! It actually had been renovated since last time and I don't think I wias very sad for any of the animals this time.

Jordan is changing so much everyday. She is relaxing for the most part, but when we get in a car you can see her frown and get worried. After our outing to the aquarium we went to the toy store and grocery store. Everything is so expensive. Groceries that we pay $100.00 dollars for I bet we pay about 45.00 for. It is sad. With their income so low I don't know how they do it. Anyway the grocery store was an absolute thrill for my little Jordan. I didn't know anyone got so thrilled at a grocery store. It was so cute. We have taught her to clap when things are good or exciting, and we would put something in the basket that looked good to her and she would just start clapping. It was so cute. Tonight she started to sing her abc's a little better, and she now knows all of our names including hers. She loves the fact that she can call mamma and I come running or at least give her eye contact. She thinks that is really fun. She rarely crys but when she does it is heartbreaking. It is hard to describe, but she just looks so sad.

Tonight we started a new bedtime ritual that may actually break my back. I have been rocking Jordan (standing up kind of swinging). The first night I put her in bed I kissed her and said goodnight. Turned around and turned back to see her rocking herself back and forth. That was a heartbreaker. I picked her up and since that night I just hold her and rock her until she is asleep. Well tonight Jillian informed me that she needs rocking too. Did I mention I am a morning person. When it is finally time to go to bed I am all about goodnight and I am headed to my bed. Anyway while we are in paradise I guess I will rock them both.

We so appreciate all of the prayers and feel them everyday. I know that only God could make this be such a sweet time!

Competitive Girls

Well what a wonderful day we had. We started slow and just hung out this morning playing in our room and then we went to the playground hopping on the bouncy balls all the way and then for our daily walk. Today we even went to the beach for a while. It was a perfect weather day warm and sunny but just cool enough that you needed a jacket. We came back and even went to dinner in the restaurant for the first time.

On the way to the playground I brought along a snack since we got by lunch without eating. I think we just snacked most of the morning. It was so funny because as we went I doled out pear and crackers. Jillian actually snatched a cracker out of my hand once to get it into her mouth first. I know that does not sound funny but my finiky little eater actually grabbed something out of my hand to eat because she would not want her little sister to get it. They compete at everything. I don't think Jordan knows she is competing but as far as Jillian is concerned everything is a race, or some kind of competition. If you brag on one you better get ready to brag on the other one.

Nonny had school today. Thank goodness for Nonny because mamma does not have the patience for it. If they don't get it first thing I am done. Sweet, patient Nonny is teaching both of them. Jordan is really trying hard to learn. She has the tune to the abc's down but not the letters yet. She has learned to say thank you momma everytime I give her something to eat. She has really got that down because she loves to eat. The other funny thing she does is before we eat we say a prayer and she knows that there is no eating until that is done. So the minute you set the food down she puts her hands in the prayer position and bows her head, and if you take to long between bites she bows her head again. She is really cute. Everyday I can see so many changes and how she is really trying to get it. She is happy and silly and loud. We are trying to explain what indoor voices are. She wants to eat everything in one bite, but now knows I want her to eat it slow so she is really trying. She also loves to brush her teeth, and if you get near the bathroom she puts her finger up by her mouth and plays like it is a tooth brush just checking if it is time for another brushing. Ok, can you tell I love her?

2nd Day

Everything is going good. Both girls slept the night through no problems. Jordan is learning alot. She is trying really hard. The first day I have to admit I thought I might go a little crazy, but after today seeing the progress she has made and how hard she tries I think we will make it. First thing we had to get established is when I say no, it means NO! We got that down for now. At first when I would say no she would repeat no and then do it again with a big grin on her face. That was like a red flag to a bull. We got that straight. We also found out yesterday that her fears are: dogs, if one even barks she goes in to full terror mode, ( you know that makes me crazy), trains, we go walking everyday and there is a train track close by that is heavily traveled, we watched several trains today and that was a little better. Her likes are food, any kind, anything, her bunny house shoes I think are her favorite thing in the world. She lives to wear them and then when she does she hops like a bunny. It is really cute.

1st day of sisterhood and two daughterhood

Ok, two definitely mixes up the equation. I am trying so hard to make Jordan feel special while make Jillian not jealous and feel even more special than she already did. That just wore me out yesterday. First I will say that Jillian is better than I thought she would be. She absolutely loves being a sister. She is still trying to cope with the fact that Jordan does have a mind of her own. Jillian also is totally intrigued that Jordan copies her every move. She goes to great lengths to do things to just check that she is still copying her. I am trying to convice her that we want only good things copied so to always be good. We are still working on that . Yesterday we ventured out to the Chinese market. That was a blast, kind of like Canton but cheaper and run by Chinese. We had fun. We bought bouncy balls, and pomegranets for me, and tennis shoes, and a couple other things. Then we went to a shopping mall where they have a play center, kind of like a not so wonderful Dave and Busters. The girls had fun. Then we came home and went to the playground, bouncing all the way on the bouncy balls, and then we took our daily walk. They were dragging by the time we got back and so were we.

We are family. . .

Well, I survived court. It was an hour today, but it went fine. I felt like the social worker had the worst time of it, but she got through it too. After court the judge and prosecuter stopped by to speak with Jillian and she told them all of the russian words she knew. Then it was on to the fruitstand to by fruit for Jordan to give to her little classmates, and then finally to the baby home to pick her up. We got all of the formalities over with and then headed to our hotel. Oh yea, the judge did not waive the ten day waiting period. I guess we will be here for the month.

Jillian and Jordan have gotten along good all day. Jillian is very sweet and considerate of her sister and for the most part they have gotten along famously all day. I have just gotten them both in bed and I am going to hang it up to.

I can't believe I am finally here!

Court Today!!!!

Today is the day for court. (Yuk) Even though I have done it before and there are alot of people here at the hotel that haved lived through it lately, I would appreciate extra prayers today to get me through court. We have had a practice court the day before yesterday, and even that was not fun. I am praying for Godly wisdom for me, and if it is God's will I would like the judge and the prosecuter to waive my 10 day wait period. So far that has not happened lately unless the child is critically ill. But I know nothing is too hard for my God. Jillian and mom are going to court and sit in the hall on a bench outside of the courtroom so the judge and prosecuter can see what a great mom and great daughter I have, and not to mention for moral support for me. Also I am hoping that Jillian is getting something out of all of this. I found out at court practice that no one with my agency can go in with me either (thats new). Oh well one more step towards being a grown up (not nearly there yet).

After that we get to go get her. The day I have been waiting for....... Last night I thought about that and it scared me for a second, but I did not go there nor will I. Ignorance is bliss.

Thanks again to all my family and friends for all of the words of encouragement and prayers. Please keep praying. I can see the answers everywhere I look.

Love,

Julie

Yesterday...

I don't know what happened yesterday to my time, but after a visit to the baby home (last one, yea!)followed by a trip to the toy store(exhausting), followed by a trip to the children's clothing and shoe store over the toy store (I forgot Jillian's shoes for court), followed by a trip to the grocery store, and then back to the hotel (we were all starving), a quick snack, change of clothes, and out the door to the playground, playing (trying) to play keep away soccer with Jillian (that involves running on my part), pushing a tire swing, falling down trying to stop the soccer ball like the pros (in front of alot of people), a walk to the beach and back, and dinner I could not keep my eyes open. We have not recovered from the jet lag yet, are heads are bobbing by 7:00 p.m. and then we are awake by 2:00, sometimes 3:00. I know that sounds easy to fix, but it is not. You would not want to try to keep any of us awake past 7:00 p.m.. We all get a little vicious!

Ok, now back to what our day was like. Jillian woke up and said two more days til Jordan. She was so excited to get to her again. We played on the playground for about two hours and then said goodbye. She asked if we were taking her to the big plane and we said no not yet, but we will take you in the car tomorrow forever. We laughed to each other and said what a let down she is going to have when she gets to the big plane. It is not all that. Play time was happy with a few mixings of irritations to Jillian as Jordan did not do everything that Jillian wanted exactly when she wanted. She does have a mind of her own too. We stopped and talked about it and Jillian understands (I think) that this is going to take some getting used to. She still loves her sister and wants to get her to our hotel. Jillian picked out a beautiful cake for our celebration and some toys at the toy store for her, and has been concerned about making sure we have plenty of everything for Jordan. When we took Jordan back to her group her main care taker came to talk to us again. She grabbed Jillian and tried to pick her up, but Jillian was not going for that. She could not get over how much Jillian and Jordan look alike. She told me that she would not be there tomorrow when I take her and she began to have tears run down her face. She told me she loved her and touched her heart. She told me that she hoped they would bring much joy. I told her how much I appreciated her taking care of Jordan and the love that she gave her, and that I would send her pictures throughout the years. I know God gave Jordan this lady two years ago when I prayed and asked Him to wrap her in His loving care until I could get there. I will never forget the day I was praying in the hot tub, and I had a total peace. I never worried about her after that. I knew it was done, now I know how.

INDESCRIBABLE!!!

I feel like I am on the clouds, and I am not coming down. Today was the day, the day I have been imagining in my mind now for over two years. It was better than I ever dreamed, sisters first meeting. We got up this morning and we all got ready to go meet Jordan. Since we have been here I have been lecturing Jillian on best behavior and that we really need to be on best behavior for a while. So this morning I got in a few more reminders before we left and she was perfect. Yea! We hit traffic and it took us almost an hour to get to the baby home which is up and down, fast and slow, and lots of bus and car fumes. Jillian was a little stir crazy by the time we got there but still kept it together. She was so excited! We walked in and the social worker was there to observe me today with Jordan, Tanya the head girl here with my agency, the social worker with the baby home, Elena my interpreter, Jillian, my mom, and me all in that little room that is about 3 x 6. Then the door opened and here came Jordan. Jillian was right by the door and when Jordan walked in their eyes locked and they grabbed each others hands, and smiled and I got down on the floor with them and told them they were each others sisters, and they hugged and then we all hugged, and they stood there and just looked at each other. It sounds so strange when I write it but it was just like out of a movie. It was amazing, a memory I will never forget. It was instant love. It was as if no one else was in the room. Then a caregiver came in the already crowded room and brought a snack for Jordan and an extra choclate to give Jillian. Jillian was so impressed that she shared as I have been telling her she might not share yet. They sat at a little table and ate a snack and they both looked at the other one and then would copy something the other one was doing. I had to remind Jillian she was the example. After this we went outside. I had bought those punch baloons at the dollar store before we left, and what a hit that was. You have never heard so much giggling when I got those blown up. They chased and played and it was especially fun to watch Jillian's joy on her face as she realized this was her perfect playmate and she was going to be ours forever. She now had a see saw buddy. She has always been sad when she would get on a see saw, but not today. She was delighted. They swung together giggling and screaming and belly laughing, they played chase and Jillian was thrilled she is faster ( I am not so sure how long, but today she was faster. After this we were informed we were going to take Jordan to get her passport photo, so we all loaded up in the van and away we went. We got that done and Jordan was having a really good time until we got back to the baby home. We got out and went back to the playground and she just walked back really slowly and sadly. It was so sad. I told her we would be back tomorrow and then the next day and that day we would take her with us forever. It was heartbreaking, but she got better in a minute and started playing again. After a little while longer we took her back to her room and said our good byes. Then Jillian was sad because she missed Jordan, but she also got over it when I told her two more days. We are going to have so much fun come Friday. This is one of the best days of my life. My face hurts from smiling at the two most precious angels God ever made! I am so very blessed!

Just a note

I cannot post pictures of Jordan until she is legally mine, but as soon as she is I will have more pictures up than you will want to see.

Walking on Sunshine. . .

What an incredible day it has been. Even though mom and I woke up at 2:00 we were still happy and ready to get up, so we did. Jillian still asleep from the van ride to the hotel slept until 4:00. Her first words out of her mouth were mom, where is Jordan? Awwwwwwww I think she is wonderful. ( I just want to tell anyone that is reading my blog that it is my journal, and I would love it if my punctuation and my sentence structure did not bother you. Just go for the content please) Sandy, no editing. Ok back to the story...at the point she asked me where her sister was I had to tell her she had to wait yet one more day to meet her. She took it fine. I decided that Jordan needed to spend today with just me.

When I got to the baby home her primary care taker saw me and came to talk to me. She told me that she had been waiting for me. When she walked into the room she had a hair bow on her head bigger than anything I have ever seen. I smiled and told her how beautiful she was and she was proud. I talked to her and every single word I said she would repeat in English. She was calm and glad to see my bag of toys I brought her. We went outside and all she wanted was to be held my her mama. So thats what we did. When it was time to leave I told her that I would be back tomorow and bring her sister and grandmother. She said ok but I am not wearing a bow for you tomorrow. It was hysterical but I could not laugh as I did not want to hurt the care takers feelings, but I thought that is my daughter.

God was so good today. Our reunion was perfect and I was told I would get to pick her up Friday. Thanks again for all of the prayers. Please keep it up. My biggest prayer right now is for a bond that only God can create for these two sisters, and Godly wisdom beyond measure for me the mother of two girls with alot of will.

Love you all!

Julie

We are here!!!

We made it. The three plane rides and the 26 hours of travel have been endured. Jillian was perfect, but only slept about three hours total in the last 26 hours. When we got in the van and headed to the hotel she climbed in my lap and that was it.

My computer is not connecting to the wireless connection so I had to borrow a computer tonight, and hopefully tomorrow someone can help me get it resolved.

I also found out tonight that in the last week a new director of the baby home where Jordan is has been appointed. Which means we don't know if she will let me take her during the ten day wait period as the other would.

Needless to say we need some extra prayers!

We are all excited to be here, but very weary so I am going to call it a night.

Thanks for your prayers and support.

Julie

One more day....

One more day and so much to do. I am determined tomorrow will be nothing bun fun, so it better all happen today! No Pressure! Thank you in advance for all your prayers and support. I will never be able to express what it means to us.

5 Days til blast off . . .

This is my last week with one child. That sobering thought woke me up last night and you will be glad to know that I went right back to sleep. I decided that if I only had one week left I better get some more sleep. I remember when it was one last week with no child. How boring!!!

I lost the love of my life last week, Breaker, my 12 year old doberman. He changed my life completely. I think it is so cool how God picks something out He knows will bring you to your knees, and there you go. That will kind of give you a wake up call if you don't know that God knows and cares about every little detail of your life. It was not so much fun at the time, but I am so grateful He gave me the best dog in the entire world to love through the process, and most of all He changed me. Anyway, it is really easy to leave my world behind now for a month.

If you are wondering why I just keep posting when there is really nothing exciting to say, it is because I have to practice. Once I get to Russia all of the instructions are in Russian.

Two weeks and counting. . .

It is hard to believe that we are leaving in less than two weeks to go get Jordan. I just checked the weather and the low's are in the 40's and the highs in the 60's. It looks like we going to experience a real fall. This morning on Arthur the show was on one of Arthur's buddies going to China with his parents to adopt his sister. Jillian was glued to the tv. Now that we have the suitcases out and partially filled I think it is really starting to sink in for all of us.

WE HAVE A COURT DATE!!!

Three weeks and we are off. If you see a blur go by it will be me. Three weeks and so much to do....

Home Sweet Home

I made it. I have to say by the time I got to Los Angeles I was ready to sing "I am Proud to be an American", but you will be glad to know I did not. Hopefully it won't be too long again until I get back on the plane. It is hard to think about today.

Said Goodby For Now. . .

Well I just got back from my last visit with little sister. She was great today. We did not get to go outside as it was raining again, but she tried anyway. She told me she would put on her boots, but when that did not work she gave in and settled in my lap to read her books. She was especially sweet today. When it was time to go back to her group one of her care takers was there that was suppose to be on vacation. She came in to meet mama (thats me). She was nice and said they would tell her everyday about her mama coming back, and show her the pictures of her family. This caretaker said the other caretakers had called her since she was Jordan's o favorite and they wanted her to meet me. She said they all approved and would keep her safe until I get back. They really care for her there.

Well I better run as I have a plane to catch. Thanks again for all of the prayers and support. I cannot express how much it means to me.

Fun In The Sun

It was a beautiful today. Sunshine and a nice ocean breeze. We got to go outside. Yea! It was so nice to see running, jumping, skipping, pent up energy released. Her favorite thing is a Winnie the Pooh ball I bought her. Everything she did today on the playground, she did with that ball tucked under one arm. She finally decided to let me hold it while she hung upside down on the monkey bars. She sang for me today and recited about three poems. What a different child. She even knows when I say ahhhh she better knock it off. Does it sound like I love her? I do. She has decided that she loves me to hold her even on the playground. I taught her the word up. I would not pick her up until she would say it. It only took her about three times to understand, and then she would yell up. Once when I picked her up today she leaned in to me and gave me a kiss. She just wanted to be held and held. Her caretakers were worried about my back. They don't know I give piggy rides to a 5 &1/2 year old all the time.

Tomorrow is the last day before I come home. One more visit before I leave. I can't wait to get home, but I will miss my little girl. The caretakers are very kind and you can tell they love the kids as best they can. They have promised to show her pictures of us and tell her I am coming back to get her soon. I have done this once so I know I can do it again.

Thanks again for all of your prayers and support. I know I could not have done this without my wonderful family and friends.

I Sent The Devil Packing Today

I sent him packing back to the pit of hell. I did not realize he had gotten to me. Finally this morning after I thought about what was frightening me, and why now when I have had two years and several opportunities to just quit this struggle. I did what I learned recently in my Sunday school class. I stopped and recalled who God is for me. It is so awesome to do this. Ofcourse the devil really hates it. I suddenly remembered I did quit this struggle and asked God to open the door if He wanted me to walk through. He did open the door and He got me to Russia, and then I guess the devil started messing with me. You talk about a new person. No fear! I can do this through God who strengthens me. I can love two girls enough. I have a Father that has all of the love that I need. All I have to do is ask.

Then I got in the car and was on my way to see her again, and I got more conformation that they are indeed sisters. He is so good. All I have to do is trust.

I got to the baby home and she came in so calm and cool today. She sat down gently in my lap and looked at me and smiled and said, gentle. Finally, I do love this child. We had to stay in the little room again today as it was raining. She told me in Russian that we could not go outside as it was raining. I taught her two new songs and she was so happy just to be in my lap. I held her and rocked her and she let one layer of guard down and actually enjoyed it. She loved her new toys that I bought her yesterday. A new ball was her favorite today with her cheerio book coming in a close 2nd. She did each page of the cheerio book and then ate the cheerios. She is already learning what I like. I showed her pictures of her sister and taught her how to say Jillian. It is really kind of hard to say, but she did. When her caregiver came to get her, she was sitting in my lap riding the horsey. She stopped and held on to me for a secound and then she went to her. She came back and gave me one more hug and then she was gone. I told her I would see her tomorrow.

I just called Jillian and told her all about her sister. Nonny and GrandBob gave her a picture so she could see her. She asked me if this is how she looks now, and then said she was beautiful. What a great sister. She is very excited about teaching her the English language and told me each and every word she is going to teach her. I left Nonny and GrandBob with a very excited little girl at bedtime. Oh well, maybe they need to be prepared for two little wildcats too.

A New Attitude and Some Coffee

Yesterday I went to the Baby Home with new ideas and caffeine in my body. I was just stupid to think that I did not want to drink coffee the day I met this child. In Russia bathrooms are not easy to find and alot of times you really don't want to find them especially at a baby home. After that first meeting I knew I had to have caffeine, no matter the consequences. Yesterday morning I woke up (still really waking in the middle of the night) and I decided I needed to be the boss of the situation when I met her again. If there is a possibility of her being my child she also would need to see who she is dealing with. If there is one thing that I know, it is that I am the boss. I decided I would show her that. I have experienced many times in the last four years of motherhood the experience of being flattened by the Jillian train. You look up and go what the heck just happened. I would say I do not react quickly in the moment, but I do gather myself and catch up. Yesterday was catch up for me.

When she came in the room she was not as wild (maybe she saw that take charge look in my eye). I got the cheerio book out ( her new favorite thing) and the cheerios and she started stuffing handfuls in her mouth immediately. I took the bag away and said no. I read her the page and made her put the cheerios in the place where they go. Every minute or so she would steal a couple and put them in her mouth. I closed the book and put the cheerios away in my bag. She looked at me like I was the meanest person on the planet. I think she was knocked over with a feather. She just looked at me. I told her I would get it out again but we were going to do it correctly. She was all for that. She would fill them in this time just looking for the go ahead at the end of each page to devour them. After we got through the book about five or six times she had it down. Then I gave her the rest of the baggy and let her devour them. She has quite the appetite. We played with bubbles for a while and then I started to ask her to do the things that the Doctors wanted me to see if she could do. I had to get on to her a couple of times, but she did them. She could do everything but count. It was raining so we did not get to go outside again. We played with all of the activitiy books I brought, but she really wanted to play ball. She wanted the squishy ball I brought her the day before but she had killed that ball the day before. She would tell me to back up before she threw it. That is what I told her yesterday. Her favorite thing to do was to run hard at me, get right to me and jump high in the air, and land on my legs. After about two times I would catch her and hug her and tickle her. She thought that was great.

The baby home doctor came in and told me about her. She is the controller in her group. I asked if she was sweet to the other children and the doctor said yes, they do whatever she says. She said she has a lot of energy (no kidding) and needs exercise and activities. It was a much better day. When it was time to leave she walked me into her group holding my hand. She hugged me and ran to eat lunch. The care givers are very friendly and nice and laugh alot. I think the ones I met really seem to care about the children.

I left feeling good about my time with her. I know how to be the boss. I thought many times about this child's personality over the last two years. I thought God would never think of giving me two children so full of themselves. No, He would not do that to me. I think He has been having a very good laugh these last two days. I think He might have given me Jillian as a warm up. I don't know. I think about how much I love Jillian. I cannot imagine loving anyone as much as I love her. How is that possible? How do you not go through everyday comparing one to the other. I guess I wonder too if Jillian will love me the same. It seem alot of people do it. My mother told me today that there is definitely a special love you have for your first born. I told her remember you are talking to the baby. I have always felt completely loved so I guess it is just different.

It is time to drink coffee now and put my thinking cap on so I can be the boss again today. Please pray for God's will and wisdom for me.

I Would Like To Retract My Statement

I am not a grown up yet. Yesterday really showed me that. I thought I was going into my meeting yesterday with no expectations, that was a lie. I compared this little girl to Jillian, which to me, is like comparing someone to the moon and the stars. It is not possible. This is an aspect of parenting I will need to get a grip on.

She came in the room like a wild indian. We played for 2 hours in a room that was about 3 x 6. It was very hard to study her as she was going so fast and furious playing with all of the toys. I never even considered that there would be a child as full of herself as the one I already had. That was my first knock me over with a feather moment. Secound she has dark hair and is a little chubby, that also threw me for a loop, me with no expectations. She does not have a shy bone in her body, she is confident, athletic, quick, and very smart. It did not bother her at all that I did not speak Russian. She speaks it well. I just kept thinking she is going to wear me and Jillian out (we are not pansies either). She would throw the soft ball I had brought her at me (suppose to be to me) and it felt like a Ranger pitcher was hitting me with the ball. Did I tell you she was strong. When it was time to go, the social worker told her to give me a hug. It was like a wild bear hug. She then asked the social worker if she was leaving with me now. NO!

I have now had about 7 hours of sleep finally and I am up to the task of visiting her again today to see if I can get to know her a little bit. I am hoping we can go outside today so she can run a little of that energy out.

Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life. I am so glad it is over. I appreciate all of your prayers and thoughts. Please don't stop now.

Navy day in Vladivostok

Well I just got back from seeing the sights, and there were alot of sights. It was Navy day a huge holdiay in Vladivostok, after all it is a port town and Vladivostok used to be a closed city to just the Navy. The weather was very overcast and breezy and perfect for walking and seeing the sights. We must have walked and climbed stairs for hours. I definitely got my exercise today, but it was so much fun. I like to study the people and look at there faces and wonder what they would look like if they had a little easier life, and all of the blessings that we take for granted.

As you can see we found a monkey picture vendor. He was so cute and if I could bring him home I probably would. Elena is my interpreter and she was not so crazy to help hold the monkey. I saw my first reindeer today. It looked just like what we picture pulling Santa's sleigh. The kids were taking rides on him. He was very cool. I wished for Jillian today, but hopefully they will have the reindeer and monkeys when we come back.

It is now 4:00 in the afternoon and I so want to go to sleep, but don't really want to wake up at midnight again. That makes for a very long day. Tomorrow is the big day. Wow, it is very strange to think about meeting your child for the first time. I am going to focus on not looking scared to death since she does not have Nonny to run to, like Jillian did. I am so grateful for all of your prayers. Until tomorrow. . . . . . .

I Am Officially A Grown UP

I made it! I got to the Vladivostok airport, and yes mom they still make you get on a bus with your luggage and turn it around and make you get off. Then you shuffle through passport control and I should say fight your way through. People just walk in front of you. Anyway then you go through security again and then you come to two doors and there are people standing there waiting for their friends and relatives and they won't move. I finally just rolled my suitcase over their toes. When you make it through this door you look for your driver. I looked for mine, but there was no sign for me. I decided to go outside and wait. At this point there are taxi drivers trying to give you a ride, kind of creepy ones. I stood outside and waited for my ride, and waited, and waited. I was so proud I did not even get scared or nervous. After about 30 minutes and no driver I asked God to pick me a taxi driver. I was still waiting on an answer when Vlad, my driver that I have requested for the trip, came up and gave me a big hug. He had been looking for me inside. Anyway I made it, and I feel so grown up today.

Tomorrow we are going shopping and sight seeing so that should help move tomorrow along. They are picking me up at 8:00 am Monday and we will go to the Ministry of Education to get permission to see my girl, and then I get to go and meet her. I just can't wait!

Sleepless in Seoul

Well I made it! That plane ride that I have to do 4 times has to be harder than any labor, and they don't give you an epidural for it. First leg accomplished. The plane ride was long, but I had a good seat and I MADE IT! When I arrived here it was 3:30 in the afternoon. We landed at the same gate as before and I was so proud I knew just where to go. I got to my room at the airport (everything in Korea is tiny) I looked at the four walls and decided I was not ready to crash yet. I walked the airport (at least 50 duty free shops) and grabbed a wrap from Subway and went back to my room. I still could not give in to hanging out with my 4 walls, and I saw a sign while walking the terminal about massages. I went and had a 2 hour massage. That was my best idea yet. I thought about Sarah and our New York City massage experience and had to muffle a laugh a few times, but it was great. Then I gave up and went to my room and watched movies and finally fell asleep, but maybe a little too early because I woke up at 10:00 p.m. Seoul time ready to go, and nowhere to go. I am really getting caught up on my movies. Not it is 2:42 and I figured out how to get wireless (it is somewhere in the airport) and I have no idea how much I just paid for 30 minutes, but I think it was about what I paid for a bottle of water so surely it will be ok.

I am excited about getting to Vladivostok and hurrying up and waiting until Monday morning. When we flew into Seoul for some reason we came from the north and actually flew over Vlad. That was frustrating when I saw that and at that point I was pretty fed up with the plane ride but they did not let me off so I will be doing that trek today.

Please keep the prayers coming!

I am on my way

It is so hard to believe that I am really leaving in just a couple of hours. Next time I post I will be around the world. I hope the hardest part is just getting on the plane, because the thought of leaving Jillian for 9 days is harder than what I anticipated. I have left her a toy to open each day so she is starting to like the idea better. Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes. Please keep them coming! I have to say I believe I have the best family and friends that anyone could imagine, and I am so grateful to everyone!

Learning the Russian Launguage

Well I have been crashing on the Russian language. When I found out that I was going to be unable to adopt Jillian's sister I decided I was not going to learn Russian for any other kid. It is just too hard. I adopted Jillian without learning it, and she is just fine. I am language challenged! Anyway since our great news last week I have been listening to the cd while I drive and trying to pick it up as quickly as possible. Jillian sits in the back seat and listens to every word. I wonder if she recognizes it. I am making progress, but Jillian just gets it. Little Turkey! I tucked her in bed tonight, and she said mama, "ya tib yah loo bloo" that means I love you. She knows how to get me right in the heart!

12 days and counting

Well today Jillian and I had so much fun. We went to Build A Bear and purchased two bunny rabbits, one for Jillian and one for her sister. We went to Stone Briar which is about thirty minutes away and practiced our Russian all the way. We pretty much mastered "I love you" by the time we got there. We got the little recorders that you put in the animals and we went to the bathroom and we each recorded a message in Russian for her bunny. Then we went and stuffed them. We think she will really like her bunny, and ofcourse we bought matching fairy outfits for each bunny too.

What a great day!

Today I am utterly exhausted from my roller coaster ride! Six weeks on the most intense ride of your life will wear you out. I am sitting in the seat just so glad it has stopped for a minute so I can catch my breath and get ready to ride again, hopefully I am going on the kiddy level now, because I don't want to go upside down again.



Okay for those of you that have not heard my screams of joy, let me let you in on the story. After two years of waiting and waiting and paperwork sagas my agency said you can go and visit her in July. I was so excited for the last 3 or 4 months. My tickets made and just had to update a little more paperwork. Piece of Cake! May 25th comes along and I get a call from my agency. I am thinking they want me to move my ticket up, go sooner, no they called to tell me that Jillian's sister was going to a Russian family. WHAT?????? Could this really happen? I have prayed for God's will in my life for the last two years. Ok God I can let her go. She was never mine and I don't know what you were doing, but ok. Your will, not mine. Even Jillian can answer back to me when I say "who is in control of our lives"? God controls us! (Ok, she almost has it) Thats right we might not understand it, but that is what we want. So when I know she has gone to her new home the relief is great, the waiting pure agony. Its over, no maybe its not over, maybe God put me through this because He has another plan for me, another child. Ok, I'll keep my ticket and just keep going through the motions and wait for an answer. That sounded like a good plan, but inside my heart and head complete and utter turmoil. Yesterday I said enough. I don't know what you want me to do God, but this doesn't feel right because there is no peace in my heart. I cancelled my plane ticket, cancelled everything with my agency, two years of paperwork, two years of not planning a trip because I did not know what was going to happen, maybe they would call and tell me to go. I am done. On with life. I am going to enjoy every minute with Jillian, but why does this make me so sad. I am going to put it out of my mind and go home and take a swim with Jillian and shut it out of my head. One last thing I have to tell you God, I shut all of the doors today so if you want to open it, you will have to do it. I walked in the door and immediately every phone was ringing simultaneously. What? leave me alone! I had to look to see who in the world was bothering me with a vengence. My agency, what! what! what! I called to check the message and there was a message saying there was a new dcvelopment. Ok, I am biting. The officials at the Department of Education in Vladivostok are surprised I am not coming. Did I not get their letter? Yes, I got the letter, and I got it translated, and it was hard to understand, but I knew my agency had confirmed that this little girl left the orphanage on June 14th and went home to her new family, and yes I knew they could not tell me that she was for sure Jillian's sister because of the paperwork they had to change to make her adoptable. Send us the letter something is up, we will translate it. The letter says she did not go to the Russian family she is available. She is waiting on me to get there! The door is open!!! Thank you God , you are so good!!!