Reflection. . .

This morning I was again thinking how blessed I am. I was considering all of the prayers that are being lifted up on our behalf and the two and a half years of my own prayers. As I mentioned before I prayed for protection for Jordan since the day I knew about her, and I prayed for a love that Jillian and I would have for her, we prayed for a happy life for her when we thought she would live her life a world away, and I prayed that Jillian would enjoy this time, that she would not be afraid or have bad memories, but could know in her mind a little bit more about where she came from that it might mean something to her in the future if she needed the information.

I could so clearly see God in every moment of time I had here when I adopted Jillian. We had an immediate bond and love for each other, she was mine and I was hers no doubt about it. I had the audacity to think that maybe God would not do it again. Sometimes I am amazed how God still puts up with me. Never before have I admitted out loud to anyone (I guess the depths of the questions in my mind) that maybe it would not be the same with Jordan. How could anyone be like Jillian is to me? How would it be different sharing Jillian with Jordan and so on and so forth. Would she be able to permeate our little wall of 2? So many times since the first trip I am so grateful that I had to endure the pain of this summer and how I have told God how he knows me so well and knew that I needed the confirmation that Jordan was mine by His will, and I am so grateful that I finally let my will go. I hate how stubborn and hard headed I am and I hope to always remember that its His way not mine that I want.

So back to reflection. I still can't believe (working on my unbelief) how much Jillian truly, truly, loves having a sister. I asked for the love and it is definitely there. That is not to stay that she is the sweetest most loving sister in the world. She has mean times, and whiny times, and irritated times, but even in her worst moments she loves her sister. She always ask for everything for both of them, and even offered to share her last brownie with her. Jordan is so different than what I expected. She is changing everyday. She was so easy and sweet to start with but is just fitting perfectly with the two of us more and more every day. The three of us fit and feel so natural. Thank you God! Jordan is relaxing and feeling more confident and to think she has not even made it home yet. Again for those of you that are worried that I have let my guard down, I have not. I am simply marveling at all of my answered prayers! I love being the mother of two, and I hate to say it out loud, but you know I will, it is a piece of cake going from 1 to 2 as compared to 0-1.

When Robert and Ali (my niece and nephew) were little we would watch their every move and laugh constantly at how Ali would copy everything Robert would do. We would always say out loud, see see. Well here we go again. Jillian thinks it is cool and sometimes uses it for good and sometimes for bad. We are working on that. Yesterday the hands on the hips hit. I just about fell on the ground in hysterics as it always cracks me up when Miss Priss (Jillian) puts her hands on her hips but when I looked on the playground and Jillian was at one end with her friends and Jordan was at the other end and both had their hands on their hips I just smiled. Life is good!

Four more days of vacation! Again could I please remind you how grateful we all are of your prayers and sweet thoughts!

Love to all,

Julie

P.S. T.C. (my non computer friend) I love you and miss you! Now if someone would tell her for me.